last week... i hate the nights!!!!!!!!

a pretty evenful week i would say
woke up to a solemn monday
too cold too dark...

bam!!!! tuesday came by
bright and sunny
most productive day
studied like nobody's biz...
played badminton
wonderful dinner
happy as a overfed cow
warm.. 10 degress that afternoon

and that night..
watched quantum of solace with dissappointment

still a good and warm wednesday
productive yes
16 degress high temp
yay.. played squash after class

and then that night...
snowed!!! trapped at the bus stop!!!!!
it snowed again
bugger!!!!
bad way to end a day!!

thursday..
not productive
too cold.. but still pushed on
good anatomy class
feeling happy and the sense of accomplishment
felt like an anatomist for a day
owh how i like that feeling

then that night...
last game of volleyball in the group stages
unbeaten so far
7 straight wins with only one set dropped
how cool is that
wanted to go into playoff unbeaten
but....
garhhhhhhh
lost 2-1
hurt my calcaneus again!!!
pull a muscle.. gastroc maybe
the team was too nervous, too eager
dissappointed
and it freaking snowed again!!!!!!
trapped at the bus stop again
this time in shorts!!!!

friday
recuperating
nerdy day
bored

saturday
recuperating
bored

sunday
recuperating
bored
saving grace:
watched calgary stampeder won the grey cup
i think i'm in love with football nowadays
yay


i really hate the later part of days
but nowadays it's longer.. 4pm cut-off point
damn calgary~~~~


this week status (the low ends):
tuesday night ~ gastric attack.. 12-4am
this morning ~ lead a small group session sick!!

seems like i kena jinxed this 2 weeks!!!

sigh.. hope our first play-offs game tomorrow is A-ok

brrrrrrr.... NO MORE!!!!

they say the winter in calgary is unbelievable
come january-february
u expect minus 45 degrees celcius to greet ur new year

premonitions were made:

1. i'm gonna die a cold and lonely death
(heck! u dun even need to put my body in the morgue's freezer)
2. if i didnt die... gonna hibernate for at least 2 months
3. gonna do a futurama... cryostasis/frozen till the next millenium.. yay

if u see a lengzhai statue like this one, please wake me up lolz

but no no no....
not with my new buddies here...
let me introduce u guys to my savior!!!!
meet my pets lolz



ah paw...
will shield my head and my ears from frozo!!


and the twins.. ah racc and ah coon
the warrior against coldie



yes!!! i will survive lolz

ACCIDENT? me doctor?

scene one:

on the way home from a relative's place
driving while talking to dad
well below speed limit
in the middle lane

a guy made an illegal left turn

wham!!!!!!
blacked out

scene 2:

woke up with massive headache on the hospital bed
~that's because of the lacerated skull
tried to move... pain!!!
~that's because of the multiple fracture she had
clavicle snapped, ribs broken, patellar gone with the wind, talus and calcaneus MIA

excruciating pain!!!
blacked out

scene 3:

woke up still in pain
asked: "where's my dad?"
no answers
confused, dazed

blacked out

scene 4:

bro came in
words of consolation offered
"M, dad didn't make it"

no reaction
blank face

blacked out


these 4 scenes is a chronological representation of what happened to a MVA patient
motor vehicle accidnet
she/the driver is not at fault.. no not her
but.....

darn it i almost cried in the lecture teatre

attended a trauma lecture by the trauma department
patient presentation
and the magic of the medical world

the doctor manage to salvage what's left of her ankle by forming a new calcaneus by using a part of the pelvic bone... awesomeness!!!
recovery still going on.. been 2 years

when asked about what's the worst part of her experience she said..

it's not the pain
it's not the thought that i might not be able to walk after this
but not knowing what happened to my dad
nobody wanted to tell me everything
even my brother
they waited until the social worker came!!!
it's just... so painful

which made me think
what's our ROLE as a doctor
just to fix and then run?
why wait for the social worker?
why can we break the bad news?

and then it hit me...
am i STRONG enough to do so?
what if i said the WRONG things?
and why would i even CARE?
should i CARE?

up to this point i feel very useless
sure i can diagose with hours of mugging in the library
sure i can manage the patients with proper training
but can i HEAL them?

treat the patient as a WHOLE
as a PERSON

that's what been taught
but isn't that asking to much from a person
emotional stability
mental efficiency
spiritual pillar

am thinking too much again
sweat sweat sweat
just a gentle reminder for me i guess
that to be a good doctor, 'I' need to be HUMAN

anyway.. the main goal of the talk was to educate people that there's no such thing as accident
the word accident itself clouds our jugdement on what really happened
cause and effect they say
check and balance
i did that so i got this

and this applies really well in MVA
and other medical conditions

"patient's education, eveyone
can put us outta our job but will make the world a better place"
~speaker

good news and bad news

GOOD NEWS:
passed my first exam....
flying colours by my santdards hahaha

BAD NEWS:
next exam in 2 weeks time
not fair weh....
the only system with 2 exams!!!!
MSK


GOOD NEWS:
it's snowing ed liow

BAD NEWS:
it's still fall liow
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
gonna freeze for an extra 2 month
plus the fact that there's no spring here
total 8 months of misery
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


GOOD NEWS:
3 weeks holiday for winter break

BAD NEWS:
can't go uk coz cant find ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
sorry ben, siaw, yyw, jackie


GOOD NEWS:
my volleyball team very keng

BAD NEWS:
cant sweat enuf to kill my tummy
big wor
dunno what to do with it
now need to tuck my tummy into my pants!!!!!
how wierd is that
(p/s: thanks angelene for wishing all the best for my tummy.. now really the best!!!! waaaaaa)


GOOD NEWS:
going on a trip this weekend (maybe)

BAD NEWS:
it's all downhill beyong that point onwards!!!!!! no more good news
time to be a proper medical student
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo