#113 - what if's

yet another random post
after yet another sleppless night..
heck.. maybe i should seek help.. soon!!!!

anyway..
was browsing thru pics, videos and other stuffs
bit's and parcels of what peeps pronounce as memories
the past, flashbacks

then this miniscule brain of mine suddenly functions (for once)
why would peeps want to look back into time, their past, history
it is indeed no longer their story.. it's his' story
belonging to their old self
and u know it as much as i do
we no longer are the our old self
we evolved, we changed, we grew

i might be biased and dun get me wrong
i really like my past.. my footprints
i do believe i have a great background, prelude to what i am now
just that nagging WHAT IF'S questions
really really hate it
it's as if i'm not content with what i have now
questioning every move i used to take
every path throdden by these legs
come on.. move on already
next page.. next chapter

but whenever i looked back
there it is
the monster of WHAT IF'S
lurking down the alley
blocking the path to 'the tomorrow'
leading u to an endless roundabouts and u-turns

denise tot me something once
there's no more u-turns
there shouldn't be
even if u made a mistake, just take a tiny step back
reflect then move on!!!
(couldn't believe i'm taking que's from a bimbo potatohead)

now i really cannot sleep..

have to admit, i loved the 'WHAT IF'S' box
with it u can be anything u want, with just the 'right' choice
u can be a superstar! a great lover! an awesome architect!
a pianist! anyone! just anyting u would ever imagine
but this BOX shall remained closed
cause nothing good can ever come out off it
the pandora box!!

screw me for thinking of such nonsense
mind you, i never reviewed my previous post
write write write -- publish
which explains all the rubbish i've posted before

now that i mentioned it, there's nothing 'wise' about me projecting out of this chunk of hot stuff
crap crap crap
what if i'm a lil' wiser?
what if i can be a lil' smarter?
what if i'm a lil' less socially retarded?

~

ask me again in 10 years time
i dun think i wan/can answer that now

memories are there to remind u of ur old self
not to predict what u could be in the future
it is there to let u know that u used to be better/worse
so u can do someting to change it
memoirs are there to make u aware that u were once a somebody
apart of this somebody u call self
(what philisophical crap is that!!!)

all i know.. i dun like the what if's question

i'm the servant of the Almighty
serving HIS cause
looking back on mistakes
an ardent student of non-repetiting cycle

~but so far i failed?

i am indeed... a lengzhai ;p

#112 - ASTROBOY!!!!

after 'that humiliating' game
we went out for dim sum
with janet as the honorary guest
the birthday dim sum girl

budin, bulat, lee shi, janet, vi-en, day-o, siti, kak ridza, abang joe in liverpool jersey!!!!, ilia in liverpool jersey!!! jer and me

2 revelation that day:
1. shouldnot brag about united in fornt of abang joe anymore;p
2. one my favorite dim sum dish (one being the egg tart, the other one being the curry octopus), the carrot cake, was deem not halal!!!

whatthefreakinggfishiswrongwiththemmatasepetpeeps

carrot cake supposed to be CARROT and CAKE
where got people put pork inside!!!!!
all this while, i've been eating pork!!! after vehemently asking the owner for no pork dish!!
each and everytime man.. i asked he said no.. i asked he said no..
until that day.. i found the minced piece of un-holy delight;p

haiyo.. i'm saying goodbye to that restaurant.. F that F restaurant
silver dragon, i shall be your loyal dim sum eater from now on..
lol

which means that i need another outlet to let things cool down..
ASTROBOY!!!
OMGOSH OMGOSH OMGOSH
i even got a t-shirt from japan for this show..
yay..
ok la the show.. not bad.. good enuf for a lengzhai like me
had a good laugh and great company
day-o, vi-en, janet and leeshi..

yay..

woohoo!!!

check out my astroboy tee... can see the insides from different angle.. woohoo..

i dun care what u say about my jakun tee but i'm proud of it.. lol

#111 eating humble pie

sigh~
deserving lost
there's nothing you can say more than that
roon left his boots at home
anderson was left on the bench

expectin lostsa bashing from me dad
abang joe
abang sham
and the list shall go on and on and on

come december
the real race will start
no worries

~
yet

;p

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!!!!

THE RED DEVIL'S WAY!!!
ROAR!!!!

united at anfield
yet another epic encounter
hopefully it's going to be as dramatic as the citeh game
without the shaky defense of course

anderson to shine
with rooney and his usual self

fingers crossed

image taken from http://sport.mthai.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/anderson_rooney300.jpg

109# where the wild things are

yup, we went out to watch the show after the exam result
not a bad show at all
at times quite freaky and dark

but the best part of going out for the show tonight was chris' new toque
hand made, hand sowned
just for the show and of course for halloween

a nice 'night-out' indeed
good movie, great company
ditto!

108# an afternoon off

been a long time i had such pleasure
so while waiting for the bus home
sat on the cold grass
can't believe it's fall and it's already freezing
but the best part of the afternoon was the sun
gosh.. it was so majestic today
with the ray, came warmth
when i got back to my senses
i have been 'sun-ray-bathing' for 3 hours!!
with my ass frozen stiff but my mood to the 7th heaven

i feel like superman
generating power from the sun
i feel like a cat
sprawled under the sunlight with no care in the world
i feel...
ALIVE!
feeling the grace of the almighty
the love of the creator

the best day of the week
been a gloomy week
clouds, strong wind and rain
but like they always say, there's always a silver lining in everything in life
and i tend to seize every moment of it

sun.. me like

p/s: checked the forecast, snow on monday!!! noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....

#107 - image of the week

gosh.. i just love this photo
the CSY pose..

curi from cheemz facebook album..

it's like nothing has change
not even one bit..

~lalala~

106# home visit

every now and then,
we were asked to go for home visits
and i was pretty lucky this time
great partner
marvelous patient

so off we went to the patient's place
lisa (my canvas painting mate) drove us of course
a nice retiring home for the elderly

a remarkable day
tips to charm an elderly
bring a pot of nice flower
and wear a bright red tie
they'll love u for that.. every single occupant of that place..
felt like a celebrity.. lol

anyway, medical condition aside
let me tell u the story of this remarkable person i met
MISS H, 93 years of age (yeah, she's still available!!)
one thing i really like about her is how she kept on going
loving the world aroud her
the people and every single thing in life

started off teaching up to grade 8 student in a rural setting
was forced to quit because of her condition
oh how she love teaching the lil' ones

down but not out, she pursued another career
a telegraph operator in lake louise
i nice place to settle in, working in view the full view of the mountains

by that time she's in her late 70's
she started the unthinkable
'let's scale the mountains she said one day'
so of she went once again..
capturing mountains after mountains
mount temple, sentinel pass just name it..

she can even climb the calgary tower 5 times in a day!!

"i loved my life, and life has treated me well"
"all i need is my family and my will to try something new"
"cause to me, everday is a new adventure"
"good or bad, you just have to learn to live with it"

i'm 24 and i can't even will myself out of bed on some day
curse long hours in a slow day of clinic

how i wish i have her love for life
the energy to keep going on and on
to me, she's like the energizer bunny

i hope this post will remind me how noob i am
need to improve, need to learn more

lisa, miss H and lengzhai

the multiple life time achievement awards she got so far
she's an active contributor to the society
what have i done?

105# still can't sleep... another career option..;p

A SOCCER PLAYER!!

although i'm not 'that' good at it
it might be a nice option

good pay
another way to keep your body at that pristine condition before i become a geriatric case
(no ageism intended)
and definately a simple life
it's kicking balls around in the park
how hard can it be?
lol

anyway, here are some picture from this season of intramural frenzies
for now it's soccer.. until i got a bearing of how busy i'll be in the next few weeks

the competitive co-ed intramural team -- team kakablob..
post 3rd game
record: P3 W2-D1-L0

p/s: those white stuffs on the background was the result of a hail storm earlier that day.. luciky it lasted for a bit only..

the rec co-ed intramural team -- team dinesh
post 1st game
record: P2 W2-D0-L0

but i think i really should get some sleep
it's starting to get to me
especially in considering other job options;p

p/s: but playing soccer with these bunch sure are fun..

#104 - can't sleep

been having trouble sleeping lately..

but that is not always a bad thing..
i can study more
i can watch more movies
i can msn/ym peeps in different time zone

but last night
due to extreme sien-ness
decided to go on a telephone rampage
lol

after calling my dad
my fingers just can't stop dialling

called up to 20 peeps from 4 continents
but can only get thru 13
not a bad work for one night
i can be a telephone operator now
(lately been discovering a lot of potential careers aside from medicine;p)

but it's really nice to talk to peeps i haven't spoken to for ages
and reminding peeps that i'm as lengzhai as ever..
yay for that..

discovered another side of me
from a joke shared with auntie angelene

u know why am i sooo kiasu?
coz i'm MOOSE-SO-KEEN

but in actual reality, due to my MALAY-NESS;P
i'm MOOSE-TAK-KEEN

i'm really happy now..
but then how too sleep now?
sigh~~

hahahaha

mental note.. it's easier to sleep if u r depressed..
how i wish i got that gene now.. lol

#103 -- maybe i should start a new career -lol

back by popular demands
(and my lazy-ness to type in anything new)
the art of free flow henna!

let's start with the wedding henna..

and being and A.D.D-er (attention deficit disorder)
lets put it on oneself;p

lol... check out my new bracelet... courtesy of the host..
(gosh.. u could only imagine the pain one have to undergo to put it thru one's hand)


and then,
we, the calandar boyz (basically my housemates) held an open house
during the 2nd week of raya..
we cooked good foods
served sweet drinks
entertained lotsa desserts
and i was asked to henna-d the night again
models were: kak ridza, ilia and siti


kak ridza's
ilia's

siti's

and what can you do with a tube of henna and a skin abrasion from soccer?
u henna it!!! lol (i bet it have some healing properties lol

yes, i know.. i'm too free lol

finally.. the weekend..

pheww...
a hectic week indeed
weekend - rejuvenation..

not one to dwell on how tired i am..
but, i really am DEAD tired this week

all because i tried to be somekind of a superhuman
like naruto with his endless chakra..

after a week in bed with the flu bug (a nasty affair i might say)
i decided to have the most productive week ever
so while doing neuro..
moose-so-keen, trying to be a smart ass:

1. did neuro.. duuhhh ~monday
2. did 4 hours of geriatric selective ~monday noon
3. played basketball intramurals with the rec team ~ monday eve
4. spent the night dwelling on the geriatric cases log.. (i have a logbook? wow) ~monday eve
5. prepare for my peads neuro selective ~ wee tuesday morn
6. 5 hours of peads neuro selective ~ tues morn
7. neuro ~ tues noon
8. volleyball intramurals league with kakapo team ~ tues eve
9. peads neuro logbook (i have 2 logbook now? wow wow) ~ wee wednesday
10. neuro ~ wed morn
11. catching up for neuro after the 1 week absence ~ wed noon
12. soccer intramurals comp team league kakablobs ~ wed eve
13. neuro catch up ~ wed eve
14. neuro review ~ thurs morn
15. catch up sleep... afternoon nap in the lounge.. aaahhhhh
16. woke up with a "shit there's a neuro quiz tomorrow"
17. kiasu kiasu kiasu
18. owh shit... patient assigment write up!! kiasu kiasu kiasu
19. back to quizzzzzzz........
20. and finally friday night.. restttttt

dunno how i fare this time for the quiz but, sigh..
fingers crossed! gulp

and to make matters worse.. it snowed all week long
scratch that... it HAIL-ed all week long
it's freaking october and it's already -15 degrees celcius?

not complaining.. just a reminder to myself never to over-book ever again
i ain't no superman;p
but the best thing about it is.. i survived.. i freaking got out of the rubble unscathed
weakened yes but definately stronger
beaming with pride

and the chinook wind is coming.. it'll be warm again soon yay!!!

now back to prep for peads neuro next week..
nahhhh.. let us sleep for now..
restorative euphoria

but not after cleaning up my room
and organizing my logbook(S)
and my educational prescription
and my clinical apraisal read up
bla bla bla
shit.. i'm overbooking myself again..

hopeless lengzhai:p